My husband is a wonderful father. I never had a father myself, and all my friend’s dads were such cretins that it never occurred to me a dad might be a good thing to have until I saw how great he is with our kids. He’s patient, playful, and obviously loves nothing better than bringing joy to their little faces.

He also, frequently, tells me how awkward he feels - how distrusted, disapproved of even - when he interacts with other children in public places. Even when he takes our kids to the playground, so it’s blatantly obvious he has a legitimate reason to be there and to be involved with the kids, he says he’s hesitant to help another child use the swings or climb to the slide. Most especially, he avoids touching them.

Now think about that. In our cultural obsession with pedophilia we have created a climate where a man who is already a father struggles to be seen as “safe” for children. Imagine how much worse it is for a single man. Men are seen as having no legitimate reason for wanting to be with children, to play with them, to (God forbid!) cuddle them.

This is wrong in so many ways. Kids need cuddling. Kids - boys especially - need to interact with men as well as women. Denying men the chance to interact affectionately with children passes the message that men aren’t caring, that daddies should play little or no part in kid’s lives, that all men are a hair’s breadth away from being sexual predators. Is this true? Is this what we want? Is this the message we want our little boys to grow up accepting?

The battle against porn - phrased as it is, in America, as a battle to protect children - only exacerbates this. Don’t believe me about how the US equates porn with pedophilia? Check out this link for a layperson’s estimation of the new USC 2257 regulations, or this one for a more comprehensive legal evaluation. These regulations were sold to the public as important measures to prevent the “exploitation of children by pornographers” - the very fact that such a tactic could work shows that pornography=pedophilia is a notion already firmly implanted in the public psyche! And naturally, as the primary consumers of porn, men bear the flak of being suspected of closet pedophilia.

You know what I think we have here? An underhanded, despicable attempt to reintroduce the idea that women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen (what the Christian right would no doubt call family values). Women’s work can only include things like CEO of a Fortune 500 company or President of the United States if Men’s work includes caring for children, and as long as we continue to think of male sexuality (which includes their liking for porn) as something dangerous this situation will persist.

After spending the last week or so glued to my computer, I have just gone live with the most recent iteration of my site. It’s funny, this web publishing business - the second you get one redesign done your mind starts fiddling with ideas for the next one. I keep a running list of stuff I mean to add or change. The next really big thing on my list is to get set up to accept Visa cards, but since that requires a $750 sign-up fee (which I’m about $675 short of) it won’t be happening in the immediate future.
What will be happening very soon (I hope) is that I will be moving to a new host, one that’s better able to handle the needs of an adult paysite. When this happens I’ll be launching my second website which will be devoted to my Panty Mistressing “hobby,” and removing the worn panty pages from Chateau Cherie. I decided to separate the two endeavors for lots of reasons, which I’m just too damn tired to try and write a coherent explanation of tonight.

I call myself a pagan for two basic reasons. First, that I believe monotheism, the idea that there is only “one true god” or one way to god, is fundamentally false and harmful. I am a polytheist, and in my world, that of Christian America, a polytheist is a pagan. Second, my taste in religious ritual - how I seek to touch the divine - runs more toward solitary nakedness, candles, and chanting than putting on a demure dress and gathering together with a bunch of other folks to congratulate ourselves on how much god loves us.

That said, however, my understanding of the universe does strongly lean toward the idea that there was a single source, a creator (or maybe even team of creators) who designed the universe and laid down the rules from which everything else - including us - arises. The entire system by which the smallest particles become stars and animals is a system so elegant in it’s simplicity, yet so complex and endlessly innovative in execution, that it seems to me quite miraculous. And beautiful, and for those who ponder what the “purpose” of the whole thing is, I can only suggest that a thing of beauty exists to be beautiful.

Further articles of faith -
I consider it presumptuous in the extreme for anybody to say that they speak for god.
I don’t think god gives a damn what we do in the sack, or with who.
I think the best way to know god is to study the evidence of creation. To learn the physical laws of the universe, and to examine all life, everywhere - not just human life. We are part of creation, not the masters of it!

What does this have to do with porn? Many in the anti-porn crowd would insist that people who make/use porn have no morals, no values, no faith, which is complete and utter bullshit. My faith, my morals and values, are as strong as Pat Robertson’s, but I would suggest that my values are truer, more wholesome, and far more honest.

I’m working on a redesign of my free area, putting in a proper tour, and for this I’m making a montage of video clips with a specific theme - me just about to cum. I do that a lot in my shows, so I have TONS of orgasms to sort through, and naturally, it gets me to ruminating on the subject of orgasms.

I wonder if I could learn to squirt? I think maybe I could, since I’ve done it before (see my Orgasm entry for more) I think it would take lots of leisurely masturbation though, which is something I don’t have much time for lately. It’d make a good new years resolution though. *giggle*

In fact, my very best masturbating sessions are always during my live member shows. The delicious ritual of shaving, dressing, putting on my makeup and setting the stage, stretching out and a little pre-play, followed by one full hour of banging away at whatever orifice I feel like filling, with whichever toy(s) takes my fancy, while an audience of hundreds of men (and women, yum!) watches and masturbates with me. I’m old enough to know that whatever kink currently holds my interest is likely to change, but for now I can imagine nothing hotter.

Poor Sgt Knickers is not so lucky, he’s a voyeur at heart not an exhibitionist and being in front of all those eyes gives him the willies. Nothing worse for the stiffness of a willy than a case of the willies :-p Thankfully he’s getting more comfortable on camera when it’s just us two, as I really enjoy doing more hardcore stuff sometimes and I’m not *quite* ready to go fucking other men. Or perhaps I should say we haven’t met the right man yet - I get plenty of offers from guys that claim to be dying to get a piece of my sweet ass, but none yet has struck me with the right combination of respect and slut-appreciation.

(Slut-appreciation - that’s one of those technical terms, describing the guy who knows some girls are sluts-at-heart, and LOVES them for it. You know, the one who’s thinking “I would give my left nut to meet a girl like that!”)

Anyhow, back to orgasms. I’ve decided, after much reflection, that the kind of orgasms I frequently have during my shows - which I’ve called “type 2″ or “type 3″ orgasms - must be g-spot orgasms. It feels good all over, having something inside me, but there’s one particular spot that almost like a push-button to set me cumming. Gotta be the g-spot, eh? Many women who have squirting orgasms say they are g-spot orgasms, so that bodes well for my new year’s resolution. The difference between the one time I squirted and the ones I have all the time is that the squirting orgasm was a combination g-spot AND clitoral orgasm. Now if I can just figure out how I got my body to do that…

So I’m reading the news, and I come across this article decrying the production of “The Vagina Monologues” at some college. The author’s opinion was that this play was thinly disguised porn, and that it’s production (and in fact, all porn) was a creeping smut on our society, destroying the sanctity of sex. The sanctity of sex - that’s the exact phrase she used, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Sanctity - the holiness of life and character, or the quality or state of being holy or sacred (Merriam-Webster online)

I would wholeheartedly agree that sex is, or at least ought to be, something sacred. The question is, does talking about sex, showing pictures of it, discussing how to do it (and how not to do it), or does just plain doing it, destroy this sanctity?

Well, does talking about God destroy the sanctity of God? Does showing religious imagery, talking about what you do in church or what you pray for, destroy the sanctity of your faith? I think the author of my article, and pretty much any person of faith, would agree that it does not.

Why then does looking at and talking about sex destroy it’s sanctity?

What’s going on here is another example of the moral double-speak of the religious right. Preserving the “sanctity” of sex, to them, requires hiding sex, especially all the nitty-gritty physical details: the sights, the sounds, the smells and bodily fluids, the sensual reactions to often inexplicable stimulus. In fact, it requires treating sex like something to be ashamed of. Quite the opposite of something sacred.

I have been tinkering with the look of my diary, as you may have noticed. *eyeroll* It looks ever so pretty in the “preview” window, but when published my pretty graphics & colors inexplicably disappear. Why is it that web programming sometimes seems so much like voodoo?

Ah, well, I’m sure to figure it out eventually. As for ya’ll, lovely readers, be sure to check out the new links I’ve added to your right. Especially Adorable Audrey. She’s such a sweet tart, my mouth waters just looking at her!

My Mom’s test results are in, and they’re the best possible, better than we dared to hope. The biopsy showed no signs of malignancy. She’ll have to be monitored every few months for changes, but for now everything’s fine.

Yesterday I was reading this treatise summarizing the modern debate about pornography, and it got me to thinking about cock worship.

Why cock worship?

Well, according to one school of feminist thought (for convenience let’s call it the MacKinnon school), pornography is bad and ought to be censored because it promotes the degradation of women. There’s some debate within this over whether all sexually explicit material produced for the purposes of arousing us are pornographic or whether some such material can be classed as harmless “erotica.” (Yes, I really am getting to my point - bear with me a little longer!) Those who choose to split this hair are then left with the quandary of which naughty movies (or whatever) are pornographic and which are merely erotic, with the main basis for deciding being whether it is degrading to women (these feminists are gracious enough to say that men shouldn’t be pornographically degraded either).

Now for the cock worship. Cock worship - licking, kissing, sucking on the male member, rubbing it reverently against one’s face and body, generally behaving as though the wielder of said dick is god-like for having it - is a sexual activity that might suggest degradation by those standards. A MacKinnon feminist might say that movies and pictures showing women worshipping cock promote a society where men expect all women to worship cock, and where men don’t value women’s intellectual and leadership contributions. Some of these feminists might even refuse to believe that the women who make such pornography are truly willing & satisfied to be doing so, insisting that the poor porn-victim-women are essentially forced to participate by the pornography-permitting society.

But why? Why is it so allfire degrading to treat with reverence the genitals of one’s sex partners? I like it when the Sgt. kisses, licks, worships my cunt and ass, and generally treats me like a goddess for being the possessor of the longed-for pussy. I like it a lot. Why should I not do the same for him?

A MacKinnon feminist might argue that the prevalence of pornography depicting cock-worshipping women gives the idea that all women desire to worship cock, and that that’s all women are good for. This seems pretty damn nonsensical to me. At least, speaking as a woman who not only loves to “worship” cock but also to be seen in public doing so, any guy who makes the mistake of thinking I’m stupid or unwilling/able to stand up for myself is going to find out differently pretty damn quick. One who assumes that because I like doing it, and am not afraid to say so, I’m going to do it for him is going to be equally disappointed.

And you know what? He will be disappointed. The jackass guys who fall into these errors want it just as bad as the nice guys. Maybe more, since jackasses have a harder time getting laid. I consider this a source of power over all the jackasses of the world - they want what I’ve got, and I am in the privileged position of being able to teach them the important lesson that you don’t get the good pussy unless you deserve it.