It occurred to me that I ought not to neglect the sex books, since I’ve gone through an awful lot of them as well.  *grin*  What can I say?  I’ve been training for sex work all my life, even if I didn’t realize it until recently.  So coming soon (as soon as I’ve had a chance to review some of my favorites) I’ll be reporting on them!

Sgt. and I picked up one of these chin-strap dildos about seven years ago, and I think the fact that it’s still on the market (same name brand and everything) says something.  We were decidedly unimpressed at first, as it seemed awkward to use and extremely silly, but this toy definitely grows on you.

There are lots of variants on this general concept, mostly available in the BDSM sections of sex toy stores, but this is the only one I’ve seen which leaves the mouth of the wearer free for other uses.  The BDSM ones tend to be dual-purpose gag/dildo combos, which puts the dildo in the right place (that is, sticking out of the face you plan to sit on) but also blocks the lips & tongue of the sitee. 

The Accommodator is certainly ridiculous looking (not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the scene you’re enacting), and it’s a bit finicky to get it positioned so that it’s comfortable for the wearer and effective for the recipient.  Wearers with longer hair will want to be particularly careful as the straps *will* get caught in your hair.  On the plus side though, the natural latex material is easy to clean and sturdy, and with a minimum of care this toy might last a lifetime.

As for actually using it, it’s not designed for in-and-out thrusting (and boy, would that give the wearer a neckache if they tried!) but rather for those of us who simply like the sensation of being filled while enjoying a good clit-licking.  The movements of the wearer’s head as he or she performs cunnilingus will make the dildo wiggle around pleasantly, and overall it adds that little extra something that turns a good romp into a great one.

One final benefit I’ve discovered with the Accomodator is that, in a pinch, it can very easily double as a penis-shaped gag.  Extremely handy to keep the mouth of a sassy slave occupied when he’s not putting it to better use.

I’m introducing a new category today: Sex Toy Reviews.  Partly because I use a lot of sex toys, and I love to give my opinion on shit like that.  But also because I’m hoping that sex toy companies will send me free goodies to review!  *grin*

By the way, in case ya’ll haven’t noticed,  Wordpress (which this blog is published with) has this groovy “Categories” feature.  Click on any categoy and it’ll list all the posts that fall into that category.  So if you ever want to, say, see all my Practical Prophecies or Sex Toy Reviews grouped together all you need to do is click the link to your right.

 Now on to the reviews…

My grandmother died a little after nine last night.

We saw it coming, she’d been hospitalized for nearly a month and had been in poor health for years.  But that’s not really the same as actually having it happen, is it?

At one time in my life, she was like a mother to me.  I lived with her and looked to her for everything.  At that time, she drank like a fish…was a mean drunk…and I sometimes wished her dead.  She stopped drinking about 15 years ago, and it was as if she became a different person.

In the past few years we were not as close, but she was still very much a part of my life.  She kept my son when I (and everybody else with me) went to the hospital to give birth to my daughter.  She delighted my kids with butterscotch, peanut-butter crackers, and invariably spotty (she was nearly blind and could never see the spots) apples.  She occupied my sofa and entertained us with ribald stories about the goings-on in the old-folks’ community whenever there was a hurricane.

She taught me to garden, and to cook.  She taught me about strength, determination, and discipline.  She was not perfect, she lived a life that was often hard, and I wish to hell I had written down all her stories about the old times when I had the chance.

I’ll miss you Nema.

Now that my Mom’s living with us it’s a LOT easier for me to get out of the house by myself, so I decided some time ago that when school started I was going to begin doing live crossdressing sessions.  With that in mind, a few weeks back I rebuilt my other website: www.Dress-Me-Up.com.  I also began advertising on craigslist.  And this past weekend I had my first (as a “professional” anyway) session.  I booked a room for two nights, thinking that Sgt and I could take some pictures as well.  We got settled in late Friday evening, and did one very nice set (with accompanying video) that night.

Saturday morning was my session with my new panty-boy.  He was a bit nervous at first and told me he’d never done anything like this before, but he seemed to be delighted by the silky pink microfiber briefs I chose for him.  I won’t go into too much detail, but I will say that I think I’m really going to enjoy this more “hands-on” side of the business.  ;-D

I am pretty darned excited about this new direction.  I love playing to the camera, but it’s only exciting because I can picture the viewer on the other end, getting hard and horny from watching me.  That thrill is hugely increased when the viewer is in the same room, and when I can play (so to speak *grin*) with the results it’s even greater.  And I love, love, love that I’m finally getting to enact some of my fetish fantasies. 

I’ve never been comfortable (not even online) with playing the ”cruel bitch goddess”, and I’m not obsessed enough to make crossdressing play (or fetish/bdsm play in general) the main course in my sex life, so it’s unlikely that I’ll ever gain “Dominatrix” status.  But it has been frustrating having to perpetually ignore my desires in that direction for lack of time & a partner.  Sgt. is willing to try anything, but he’s a natural Top in the bedroom and it just spoils it for me if my partner isn’t truly excited by wearing my panties.  (Or kissing my feet…or worshipping my ass…or whatever…)  I’m hoping that there’s enough guys in my area (Tampa Bay, in case you were wondering) who really are turned on by my gentler style of female domination - and who have the discretionary income - to make this branch of Chateu Cherie Enterprises rewarding both personally and financially.

 And hey, that first session almost paid for the new starter in my car.  :-p

*I’m sorry to say that, thanks to the dramatic automotive meltdown and subsequent stranding of the kids in the hotel room with mom & dad, we only did the one set of pics.  I’ve had a request for some foot fetish pics though so I think we’ll try again soon…I’m thinking this time with a stunt cock!  Anyhow, here’s a peek at the set we did last Friday, which will be published in my member’s area in a few weeks:

I spent most of the weekend in a hotel (more on this later), and had a fairly dramatic lump of shit hit the fan while I was there.  We’d brought the kids up to spend a few hours in the hotel pool, then afterward my (overexcited six year old) son and I ventured out to fetch some dinner.  When I started the car it made a slightly odd noise, like the whisper of a maladjusted belt, but it didn’t seem terribly alarming so I sallied forth anyway.

A few blocks down the road we stopped at the intersection of a very busy road.  The light was long, and when it finally came to be our turn, the car sputtered and coughed its way through, with me frantically praying the whole time that it wouldn’t stall.  On the other side of the intersection was a large shopping center, and I pulled into the nearest parking lot and tried to switch off the engine.  When the engine continued going full strength after I took the keys out I really got alarmed.  I called Sgt, asked him if he had any idea what the hell was going on, or what I should do about it, and the best advice he could offer was to head back to the hotel.

As I did not at all relish the idea of having to push a stalled car across that busy, busy road I elected to circle around the parking lot, in the hopes that the car would either right itself or die completely.  It chose the second option.  About halfway round the lot, just as I coasted to a halt in front of a hardware store, smoke began pouring out from under the hood.  Visions of hollywood-style flames and explosions leapt to mind as I frantically shooed my son out of the car and popped open the hood.  At least the engine stopped this time when I took the keys out!

I walked around to the front of the car and peered through the smoke as a group of interested bystanders began to gather.  Things are sparking, things are spitting, smoke is pounring from several locations, but there are no open flames.  One of the bystanders says (ever so helpfully) “Looks like you’re overheated.”  I look at him incredulously, replying “If it were overheating I don’t think the battery would be shooting out sparks like that.”  I had no idea what was going on, but it was obvious to me that this was something a little more out of the ordinary than a radiator leak.

The only thing to be done at this point was call AAA and wait, which I proceeded to do.  I changed my mind when, nearly an hour later, the towing company dispatcher called to tell me they were very sorry but they didn’t know quite when they’d be able to get to me.  Have I mentioned that my overexcited six year old was with me?  And that he was entertaining himself by banging out a tune with a stick on the nearest light pole, having been threatened with bodily harm if he tried to put his fingers in the engine one more time?

We trudged back to the hotel and there we remained until middday the next day, when my mother-in-law kindly ferried us home.  The car was easily fixed through the ministrations of our excellent mechanic and the application of about three hundred bucks.  (I was right - it was a completely unpredicatble freak problem with the starter)  Not as bad as it could have been but a definite blow to a budget that’s still reeling from a hundred percent increase in homeowner’s insurance, not to mention the new fridge we had to buy two months ago, the rising cost of gas, and all the other extra expenses that have been piling up recently.  I guess I won’t be getting caught up on the past-due bills this month.  *sigh*

Grandmother is still hanging in there; it could go either way.

The pool is still empty, but Sgt. is confident that it can be repaired, if we can find a big enough patch.

Insurance (in all its guises) is still the bane of my existence.

Because I have been ranting so much lately, here’s a little anti-rant…a link to one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE sexy smut sources, the oh-so-delicious Delia:

A few thoughts upon reading about the AOL search query data gaffe…

You know what?  I would actually have little problem with the government snooping into my affairs…if they would quit locking people up for things they oughn’t to be locked up for.  And my general approach to dealing with the intrusiveness of modern governmental and corporate organizations is chaos overkill, which has two tenets:

1.  The more information they have the harder it will be to comprehend it, so always aim for volume.  And…

2.  Randomize it as much as possible.  Lie some of the time and tell the truth at others, make it a habit to behave uncharacteristically every once in a while.  Do a google search for the last thing in the world you’re interested in knowing.

Has anybody besides me and the Sgt. ever read the novel Ecotopia?