Well, after months and months of utter neglect I have made up my mind.

 I’m sick to death of this blog.  It’s too damn ranty and doesn’t contain nearly enough gleeful female domination.  I’m a very different person now than when I started this two years ago, and I just don’t wanna write here any more.  So this will officially be the last entry.

 Stay tuned for the next phase in my evil plan to take over the world with kinky sex…The Kinky Courtesan

“The idea that sex is “natural” still has great sway - except, maybe, what one hears referred to as the “unnatural” kinds - so people do not need to be taught how to do it. This is barely correct, and even people who have figured out how to make babies via Tab A and Slot B do not necessarily have the elements of pleasure worked out.”

-Women Don’t Need a G-shot

by Dr. Carol Queen

Amen to that!

And you know what’s even more fucked up?  Lots and lots of folks believe not only that they themselves ought to “just know” how to get off well, but that their partners ought to somehow “just know” too.  I mean, have you paid your telepathy bill this month?  Like I have this friend who has the most godawful track record, sexually speaking.  She’s a beautiful girl, sensible and educated, and a freethinking lesbian to boot.  But for as long as I’ve known her she’s complained about her lack of satisfaction in the sack.  I never understood until I actually had sex with her a couple of times…I’d ask her how it was, did she like what I was doing, what did she want to try next, etc and so on, and get a resounding silence for an answer.  Truthfully, I don’t even know if she actually came!  Finally she told me that she didn’t think people should talk during sex - if it was the right person, it would “just happen”.  Needless to say our intimacy didn’t last long.  I found her downright boring (not to mention insensitive, since she was just as uninterested in hearing about my desires as she was in telling me about hers) and she no doubt found me as lacking as all her previous lovers. 

I went on to have great sex with someone who communicated with me…my lesbian friend is, not surprisingly, still complaining.  What I really can’t figure out is why anybody (well, anybody who wasn’t poisoned by religion anyway) would do that to themselves. 

The mainstream US news media was delighted to tell us that we’d all be seeing a decrease in the amount of spam in our inboxes after the arrest of Robert Soloway, but it sure hasn’t made a bit of difference in the spam that vexes *ME* most, which is blog-comment spam.  This blog gets, on average, 100-200 spam comments a day; this has shot up to over 500 spam comments in the last 24 hours, and over 300 for every day since last Friday.

So if you’re wondering why you comments never seem to get posted, well, it’s because I oftentimes can’t find them under all that spam!  Some of them crack me up too…like the ones that try and make their comment look like a “real person” but the comment only says something generic like “love your site!” and then the same comment gets posted 17 times…all from the same name, although each time they use a different fake email address.  Or the ones where it’s just a run-on string of dozens of links to everything from “hardcore teen sluts” to “generic bible info”.  I am frankly astonished that spammers expect any success at all in selling whatever it is they’re selling with such clumsy tactics, but then I guess if you send out enough of the crap you’ll hit a sucker eventually.

Anyhow, those persons who vex me with blog-comment spam can take a cue from this pic (from my upcoming Chateau Cherie update - join me to see the rest!) and

KISS MY ASS!  bwahahahahaha!

To hell with catching up; right now the last thing I want to do is relive the past six (make that nine) months in any form.  I am resolved to post nothing but naughty fun for the rest of the summer, dammit!

And to get the ball rolling, I give you this…

I am preoccupied tonight with giantess fantasies.  You see, I’ve been looking into making videos for distribution on a pay-per-download site, and I’m intrigued by some of the niche categories.  I mean, who’d have thunk there’d be a real market for girls sneezing?  Anyway, the giantess category has caught my fancy…I could *SOOO* see myself all dolled up in a short short skirt and really big heels, stomping the hell out of matchbox cars and squashing little clay men betweeen my toes, bwahahahahaha!!!!!

Hoo boy, am I looking forward to our next weekend away.  ;-D 

Yes, I’m still around.  Like I’ve said before, when shit happens this blog is the first thing to go.  I may get around to writing a “catching up” post soon, but don’t hold your breath.  :-p

I did want to share a peek at the update I’m currently working on though.  This one’s chock full of teasing upskirt panty shots and nylon-clad feet…

Join me now to see more!

Yes, I do realize that I went two months posting almost nothing.  As I’ve said before, when shit happens in my life this blog is always the first thing to go.

The shit that has happened in the last couple months includes the decision that my aspie son should be placed in a special ed class, which means he’s going to have to change schools.  I’ve spent a LOT of time lately investigating the different choices and agonizing about which is best for him.  Asperger’s is such a strange combination - in some ways he’s brilliant, but in other ways he’s quite retarded - which makes him as seriously out of place in most of the special ed classes as he is in a regular class.

(By the way, and not that I am going to go into this now but just FYI for any other aspies who may happen onto this blog - I’m an aspie too.)

There’s more classroom touring and official meeting to be done before the change is made, but hopefully the end result will be my family settling into a calmer, happier groove.

We’ve also had xmas of course, and with that 2 weeks of no school, which cuts down on mommy’s computer/working time dreadfully.  I don’t know how I ever managed before they started school and I am not at all surprised that I felt so crazy back then, trying to juggle it all.  I’m still disheartened by the lack of income from my business (especially as those bills are piling up faster and getting more urgent), but apart from that I am pretty content with the way things are going for Chateau Cherie Enterprises.  And mostly confident that if I keep doing what I’m doing the money will, eventually, come with it.

This xmas brought another big project as our big gift to our daughter was a puppet theatre.  Not just any puppet theatre either but a custom made (by mommy & daddy, naturally) full wall unit, with a play table and shelves galore.  She adores it and I adore anything that smooths the running of our daily lives, which all that extra storage certainly does.  It’s also very nice to be doing something to “fix up” our home, instead of helplessly watching the bits in need of fixing continue to deteriorate.  Money’s so tight that we literally can’t afford the materials to do the little repairs a house always seems to need, and this place was something of a fixer-upper when we moved in.  We had a comfortable xmas, materially speaking, because of the generosity of others who chipped in with contributions for the kids.

Since the only aspect of my enterprise that’s showing a solid profit is the live fetish session aspect, I have decided to focus more on that in coming months.  I feel that my career aspirations in the adult industry are coalescing around two prongs, which don’t seem to have all that much in common:  homemade bbw porn and female domination.  On the one hand, I love making amateur porn.  I particularly love being able to produce something that I think speaks to women, showing them that you don’t have to be a skinny barely-legal plasticized bimbo to be desirable or enjoy wanton hedonistic sex, and to couples, showing them that porn can enhance communication and enjoyment between partners.

I love making this kind of porn, I really do, and I have years and years worth of ideas left to explore in this “vanilla” realm.  But for my own personal satisfaction - what I really long to do, sexually speaking, and (mostly) am not doing - I am drawn back time and again to fedom.  Ravishing prettily dressed boys is what *I* fantasize about when I masturbate, and every time I get to play with a subguy, online or in person, I come away feeling more wholly myself, more accomplished and fulfilled, than with anything else.

Especially when I’m getting paid for it, lol!

So anyway, I am working on a new website specifically to advertise my services as a (semi)professional domina.  And finally, I also just registered a new domain - MyFatFeet.com - which I plan to develop eventually (I mean to go real slow with this one) into a little chubby foot fetish site.  I’ll post links here when it’s further along, but I think that this picture, from one of my December updates, could very well wind up on both of them:

Tasty, is it not?  There was a very nice feather stroking video too, which I may post a clip from later this week.  Or you can just join me now to see both gallery and video in their entirety.

This ejaculating, vibrating butt plug was another goody sent to me by my lovely friends at WetEgg.com.

I have been putting it through it’s paces for the past several months, and my conclusion is this:  if you don’t have an anal toy that vibrates, drop whatever you’re doing and go, right now, and get yourself one.  Seriously.  You’ll thank me for it.   This was my first vibrating ass toy (why, oh why, have I waited so long?) and let me tell you, I could hardly believe how fucking incredible it feels to have a little hum in the bum.  Not to mention the remarkable enhancement it gives to an ordinary gspot or clitoral orgasm. 

Like many folks, when I’m using an anal toy I typically prefer to stick it in and sit on it rather than do any actual thrusting, and this plug is perhaps not the best design for my style of anal stimulation.  It’s got a widened & rounded base which is both fairly comfortable to sit on and quite good at what it’s designed for (keeping the toy from going in too far and getting lost in your bum) but I would have preferred more of a flare to the insertable part to keep it more securely in place once inserted.  The lack of flare might be just the thing for anybody who prefers thrusting though, and the suction cup style bottom could be used to affix the toy to a chair (or even a wall) which I imagine could be lots of fun.

I also liked that this toy is made from a plastic that is obviously better than that noxious jelly stuff.  I’m not sure of the actual composition, but I would guess from feeling it (I am quite good at this sort of guessing) that it has a fairly high latex content.  Regardless of the material I would not consider this one to be really sterilizable though, because of the narrow, gunk-trapping tube through with the toy “ejaculates”.  Which brings me to the second feature of this toy, and the second conclusion I have come to:  Ejaculating toys must be made mostly for men.  Or at least for people who have greater hand strength than the average woman. 

All the ejaculating toys I’ve ever encountered work on the same principle - a bulb full of water (or some other fluid) connects to the toy via a narrow tube, and the “ejaculation” is achieved by squeezing the fluid out of the bulb, through the tube, and out the opening in the toy.  It sounds great in theory - simulating the sexy sensation of being filled with your lover’s cum - but in practice the sensation leaves much to be desired.  The bulbs always seem to be too thick to be easily “squoze” with an average woman’s hand strength, which means the force of the ejaculation is weak and barely perceptible.  And the tubes always manage to be too short for the bulb to be within convenient reach when one is masturbating solo.  Of course, if you happen to be masturbating with a male friend present he could squeeze the bulb for you at the crucial moment, which would solve the problem nicely (and perhaps add another element of excitement if you were playing any kind of BDSM game).  

So overall, I am completely in love with the vibrating butt plug aspect of this toy, and at barely eighteen bucks it’s a super starter toy for that purpose.  But I could just as well do without the ejaculating aspect, and I certainly won’t be looking for that in my next vibrating butt plug. 

The rest of ya’ll may have seen him on Howard Stern, but since I refuse to watch the shockmeister’s antics  (Nothing against Mr. Stern in particular; I just can’t stand shows whose primary aim is to rile folks up - like nails on a blackboard to my psyche) I have only just discovered Buck Angel.  Buck Angel is quite possibly the next big thing in internet porn because - get this - studly, muscly, super-masculine HE has a fully functional, juicy wet, orgasmic PUSSY.  Yes, Mr. Angel started life as a Ms., and is now enjoying the extremely interesting position of being perhaps the only female-to-male transexual in the porn industry.

I’ve looked at some of Buck’s stuff, and wow, just wow.  It’s definitely hot and for anybody who, like me, gets a sexy thrill out of mucking around with gender roles, it’s a must-see.  Check out Buck Angel’s porn site here, or click the pic below to see a free gallery.

I fell in love with Sportsheet’s “Derriere de Plume” Peacock Feather Buttplug the minute I saw it.  (Have I mentioned that I have a *thing* for peacocks?)  I harped on my burning lust to own one for weeks, and I was lucky enough to get one for my birthday in April of 2005.  (Thanks C!)  I was so delighted with it that I HAD to procure it’s siblings, the Ostrich Feather and Starburst Feather models too.

These toys are terrific.  First off, they’re made of a better-than-average quality soft plastic with a high silicone content, so no nasty “jelly” stickiness and chemical leaching.  (They claim to be made of silicone, but my fingers tell me it’s probably not the 100% medical grade stuff - gotta watch out for that!)  Second, the size is extremely nice for anal play beginners; small enough for comfort but big enough to give a decidedly pleasureable feeling of fullness.  The rounded shape of the plug makes for easy insertion (with plenty of lube, naturally!) and the flared base ensures they stay put.

But the very, very coolest thing about these naughty confections is that the feathered bits are removeable and interchangeable.  This feature makes cleanup a snap, but it also means that each and every one of them is two toys in one!  You get a sweet little butt plug *and* a sensation toy, which is a definite plus for the shopper on a budget.

In actual use these toys are best for teasing, particularly in gentle, sensual D/s play.  (That’s Dominance/submission for the neophytes out there.)  The small size of the plug makes them ultimately unsatisfying for the true anal slut, but having the feathery bits poking out of your bum is deliciously, delightfully silly - absolutely fabulous for erotic embarassment scenarios.  The wearer can’t really sit without crushing the feathers, nor can they be hid under clothes.  All one can do is prance around looking like a complete sex-doll.  And then if she pleases Mistress can pull out the feathery bit and use it to stroke and tickle, or even change one feathery bit for another to try out different effects.  I am still waiting to find the right subject to attempt the chore of dusting with the Starburst model, which I think will be *quite* a sight to behold, hehehe!

{On a side note, I see that Sportsheets has a “Pony Tail” version too, but I have not verified whether the pony tail fits into the feather plugs.  I encourage anybody reading this to write to Sportsheets and urge them to create more different attachments for these little gems!}

I’ve had my Derriere de Plume Buttplugs for over a year now, and the plastic had held up very well indeed - no stickiness, funny smells or discoloration at all.  Sadly the Ostrich plume bit the dust within a few weeks of my acquiring it, which will teach me to leave my toys where the damn dog can get them.  But the Peacock plumes and Starburst attachments have seen more actual play than the plug itself, and continue to hold up well.  On the basis of quality, versatility, and just plain fun I give all three of these little beauties a hearty thumbs up.

 * I didn’t get my Derriere de Plumes from WetEgg.com, but they have em for the exact same price as mine cost…surf on over and check them out! 

Last night I published the set of pics of me playing in my fishnet catsuit…you know, the ones I mentioned last week?  Anyhow, they came out so damn good that I just had to share another one with ya’ll…

  Join me now to see the whole set, including some fine shots of me plunging my brand-new 10″ chocolate dildo into my juicy wet puss!

p.s.  There’ll be a video coming along next week as well…