This ejaculating, vibrating butt plug was another goody sent to me by my lovely friends at WetEgg.com.

I have been putting it through it’s paces for the past several months, and my conclusion is this:  if you don’t have an anal toy that vibrates, drop whatever you’re doing and go, right now, and get yourself one.  Seriously.  You’ll thank me for it.   This was my first vibrating ass toy (why, oh why, have I waited so long?) and let me tell you, I could hardly believe how fucking incredible it feels to have a little hum in the bum.  Not to mention the remarkable enhancement it gives to an ordinary gspot or clitoral orgasm. 

Like many folks, when I’m using an anal toy I typically prefer to stick it in and sit on it rather than do any actual thrusting, and this plug is perhaps not the best design for my style of anal stimulation.  It’s got a widened & rounded base which is both fairly comfortable to sit on and quite good at what it’s designed for (keeping the toy from going in too far and getting lost in your bum) but I would have preferred more of a flare to the insertable part to keep it more securely in place once inserted.  The lack of flare might be just the thing for anybody who prefers thrusting though, and the suction cup style bottom could be used to affix the toy to a chair (or even a wall) which I imagine could be lots of fun.

I also liked that this toy is made from a plastic that is obviously better than that noxious jelly stuff.  I’m not sure of the actual composition, but I would guess from feeling it (I am quite good at this sort of guessing) that it has a fairly high latex content.  Regardless of the material I would not consider this one to be really sterilizable though, because of the narrow, gunk-trapping tube through with the toy “ejaculates”.  Which brings me to the second feature of this toy, and the second conclusion I have come to:  Ejaculating toys must be made mostly for men.  Or at least for people who have greater hand strength than the average woman. 

All the ejaculating toys I’ve ever encountered work on the same principle - a bulb full of water (or some other fluid) connects to the toy via a narrow tube, and the “ejaculation” is achieved by squeezing the fluid out of the bulb, through the tube, and out the opening in the toy.  It sounds great in theory - simulating the sexy sensation of being filled with your lover’s cum - but in practice the sensation leaves much to be desired.  The bulbs always seem to be too thick to be easily “squoze” with an average woman’s hand strength, which means the force of the ejaculation is weak and barely perceptible.  And the tubes always manage to be too short for the bulb to be within convenient reach when one is masturbating solo.  Of course, if you happen to be masturbating with a male friend present he could squeeze the bulb for you at the crucial moment, which would solve the problem nicely (and perhaps add another element of excitement if you were playing any kind of BDSM game).  

So overall, I am completely in love with the vibrating butt plug aspect of this toy, and at barely eighteen bucks it’s a super starter toy for that purpose.  But I could just as well do without the ejaculating aspect, and I certainly won’t be looking for that in my next vibrating butt plug. 

I fell in love with Sportsheet’s “Derriere de Plume” Peacock Feather Buttplug the minute I saw it.  (Have I mentioned that I have a *thing* for peacocks?)  I harped on my burning lust to own one for weeks, and I was lucky enough to get one for my birthday in April of 2005.  (Thanks C!)  I was so delighted with it that I HAD to procure it’s siblings, the Ostrich Feather and Starburst Feather models too.

These toys are terrific.  First off, they’re made of a better-than-average quality soft plastic with a high silicone content, so no nasty “jelly” stickiness and chemical leaching.  (They claim to be made of silicone, but my fingers tell me it’s probably not the 100% medical grade stuff - gotta watch out for that!)  Second, the size is extremely nice for anal play beginners; small enough for comfort but big enough to give a decidedly pleasureable feeling of fullness.  The rounded shape of the plug makes for easy insertion (with plenty of lube, naturally!) and the flared base ensures they stay put.

But the very, very coolest thing about these naughty confections is that the feathered bits are removeable and interchangeable.  This feature makes cleanup a snap, but it also means that each and every one of them is two toys in one!  You get a sweet little butt plug *and* a sensation toy, which is a definite plus for the shopper on a budget.

In actual use these toys are best for teasing, particularly in gentle, sensual D/s play.  (That’s Dominance/submission for the neophytes out there.)  The small size of the plug makes them ultimately unsatisfying for the true anal slut, but having the feathery bits poking out of your bum is deliciously, delightfully silly - absolutely fabulous for erotic embarassment scenarios.  The wearer can’t really sit without crushing the feathers, nor can they be hid under clothes.  All one can do is prance around looking like a complete sex-doll.  And then if she pleases Mistress can pull out the feathery bit and use it to stroke and tickle, or even change one feathery bit for another to try out different effects.  I am still waiting to find the right subject to attempt the chore of dusting with the Starburst model, which I think will be *quite* a sight to behold, hehehe!

{On a side note, I see that Sportsheets has a “Pony Tail” version too, but I have not verified whether the pony tail fits into the feather plugs.  I encourage anybody reading this to write to Sportsheets and urge them to create more different attachments for these little gems!}

I’ve had my Derriere de Plume Buttplugs for over a year now, and the plastic had held up very well indeed - no stickiness, funny smells or discoloration at all.  Sadly the Ostrich plume bit the dust within a few weeks of my acquiring it, which will teach me to leave my toys where the damn dog can get them.  But the Peacock plumes and Starburst attachments have seen more actual play than the plug itself, and continue to hold up well.  On the basis of quality, versatility, and just plain fun I give all three of these little beauties a hearty thumbs up.

 * I didn’t get my Derriere de Plumes from WetEgg.com, but they have em for the exact same price as mine cost…surf on over and check them out! 

I recently received the Berman Center’s Venus Waterproof Silicone G-spot Vibe from the friendly folks over at Wetegg.com, and I knew from the first time I used it that it was destined to be a favorite.  It’s quiet.  It’s powerful.  It’s exceedingly well designed, made of hygenically superior 100% silicone, and it’s even pretty nice to look at. 

I was entertained on first opening the box by the fact that this vibe comes with its own gauzy, beribboned storage bag…oh so femme!  And even more entertained on beholding the illustrated usage instructions cleverly hidden inside the front cover of the box.  Remember those cross-sectional diagrams they used to show us when we got to the sex ed portion of health class?  I never expected to find them residing on the packaging of my sex toys, lol!

But I suppose there are some women out there who are that unfamiliar with their own bodies…and that much in need of instructions on how to pleasure themselves…that the illustrated instructions I giggled over might actually be useful to someone else.  And I think the inclusion of these instructions (as well as friendly touches like the storage bag) would make this a highly suitable first toy for an inexperienced female masturbator.

For this experienced masturbator, what initially drew me to the vibe was the 100% silicone material and the smoothly bent g-spot seeking tip.  I also liked that it’s a little oversized, at about 9″ long there’s plenty to slide inside while still leaving enough outside to maintain a firm grip.  I was a little concerned that the raised ridges would be irritating, as so many of the “textured for her pleasure” toys are for me, but I found that the ridges are actually very well designed.  They’re big enough to give a noticable feeling of extra girth but not so big as to rub me the wrong way, and their placement is just right for giving a little extra stimulation where it counts - just inside the opening of the vagina.  There is only one thing I would change about this vibe:  the on/off switch is a push button on the bottom of the unit, which is great for one-handed operation but limits the vibration speeds to two settings.  Since I tend to think the motors in these things vibrate too strongly I usually prefer a more minutely adjustable dial type switch, but really this is just nit-picking.

I’ve used my new Venus vibe half a dozen times now, in various positions, and I have found it to be most satisfying.  It’s good for clitoral stimulation; it’s good for thrusting penetration; it’s good for holding inside my puss with my heel while I furiously rub my clit with my fingers; it’s just plain good.  I believe this could be THE vibe that helps me in reaching my New Year’s resolution goal of learning to squirt.  I have absolutely no hesitation in giving this one a big thumbs up.

I’m gonna come right out and say it:  if it weren’t for the unfortunate incident when the jelly anal screw I was using (during a cam show no less!) engaged in a painful chemical reaction with the lining of my back passage, this would be my all time least favorite toy.  At least the anal screw was a freebie; this puppy I shelled out the (to me) big bucks for - over $30!

Anyhow, I wanted a g-spot vibrator and Sue Johanson’s Royal Wave vibe looked like a friendly fellow.  I was particularly drawn by the fact that it’s silicone and I have become (thanks to the aforementioned incident with the jelly anal screw) very concerned about what my toys are made of. 

 (I prefer 100% silicone, by the way…read why here and here.)

At the time I bought it nearly a year ago it was also a very affordable toy, since then more companies have started offering silicone toys and prices have come down a bit.  This one was a complete waste of money anyway though, for one simple reason…

See that little hooked bit, underneath the bulbous head?  Think of a fish caught on a line.  NOT the sort of sensation you want in your vagina.  Getting it in is a bitch, but getting it out is even worse.  *shudder*

I tried to like this one, really I did.  I forced myself to use it half a dozen times.  I even came with it a couple of times (by using it only on my clit, or by inserting & leaving, no thrusting at all) but it was just so much of a pain to use that mostly it has sat, untouched, on the shelf in my shower.  Sure, it’s hygenically superior 100% silicone, sure it’s waterproof, with a strong & quiet motor, but who cares about all that if the toy isn’t actually any fun to use?

I suppose if all you ever wanted was something to rub your clit with and you were really, really, in love with the pretty pinkness of it this toy might be ok, but I really can’t imagine recommending it to anybody.  Even if your vag were truly vast and in need of a jumbo sized toy (which the head of this is) I would think you’d be better off going with something larger overall and without that nasty hooked bit.

To be fair, I’ve seen some of Sue Johanson’s newer designs, and they look much more fulfilling than this one.  In fact, I’m rather coveting several of them; the bright colors and organic curves make them look really fun, which is how a toy ought to look in my opinion.  But thankfully, none of them have any icky hooky bits.

I spent the morning yesterday first taking my son to get blood drawn (his first time, and he was so brave!<--proud Mommy) then ferrying him to school.  Why should this take the whole morning, you may wonder?  Well, all kids are reluctant to go to school sometimes...but how many kids have to be carried in kicking and screaming?  Knowing he's an aspie helps some - at least I know where this kind of thing is coming from - but I'm still blindsided by the behavioral results.  What do you do when the kid (remember, he's six) is so set on not going to school that he’d run blindly toward the street, seemingly unconsious of any danger, rather than go inside?  And most especially (if you’re me), what do you do when a physical impairment (seriously bad knee, thanks to a car wreck a few years ago, in case you were wondering) very literally keeps you from being able to catch him?  What I did was a) spank him in the parking lot and b) have a meltdown of my own; but I waited until after I’d finally got him as settled in as he was gonna get at school and was alone in the car on my way home.

I am really, really grateful to be working in porn on days like this.  It is such a FUCKING HUGE relief to be able…no, more than able, to be required…to spend some time doing something that’s completley and utterly removed from children.

Which is not something I could articulate to my doctor when, later that afternoon, I went in for my annual physical and somewhat shyly requested that she order a complete STD screening for me.  I am not quite to the point of being ready to do partner shoots with men other than my husband but I can see that time approaching and I want to be prepared.  Not that I wouldn’t have sex with other men; I’m just not ready to take pictures of myself doing so and publish them on the internet. 

Working in porn is, in a very literal sense, good for me.  I am far more diligent about taking care of myself thanks to this career.  I wear sunscreen, eat better, exercise more, smoke less, take much, much, much better care of my skin…there’s so many things I do that I just wouldn’t bother with if I didn’t know I was going to be on camera next week, or doing a live panty mistress session tomorrow.  So when my doctor ever-so-gently suggested that there are better ways to make a living I was pretty amused.  Maybe there are ways of making a living that are better for other people, but for me this is the ideal job.  Which is why I continue doing it even though I’m not (yet) making a living at it.

And on the good side, I got my first package from Wetegg.com yesterday too, and have spent a little time getting acquainted with my new Venus vibrator.  I will need to do lots more testing before I’m ready to write my review, but I can tell you already that this one’s destined to be a favorite.

I am delighted to announce that I have entered into a collaboation with the fine people over at wetegg.com.  Not to put too fine a point on it, they are going to send me sexy toys which I will put to the Cherie-gasm test, and report the results here for your reading pleasure.  So stay tuned for more naughty toy reviews!

Sgt. and I picked up one of these chin-strap dildos about seven years ago, and I think the fact that it’s still on the market (same name brand and everything) says something.  We were decidedly unimpressed at first, as it seemed awkward to use and extremely silly, but this toy definitely grows on you.

There are lots of variants on this general concept, mostly available in the BDSM sections of sex toy stores, but this is the only one I’ve seen which leaves the mouth of the wearer free for other uses.  The BDSM ones tend to be dual-purpose gag/dildo combos, which puts the dildo in the right place (that is, sticking out of the face you plan to sit on) but also blocks the lips & tongue of the sitee. 

The Accommodator is certainly ridiculous looking (not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the scene you’re enacting), and it’s a bit finicky to get it positioned so that it’s comfortable for the wearer and effective for the recipient.  Wearers with longer hair will want to be particularly careful as the straps *will* get caught in your hair.  On the plus side though, the natural latex material is easy to clean and sturdy, and with a minimum of care this toy might last a lifetime.

As for actually using it, it’s not designed for in-and-out thrusting (and boy, would that give the wearer a neckache if they tried!) but rather for those of us who simply like the sensation of being filled while enjoying a good clit-licking.  The movements of the wearer’s head as he or she performs cunnilingus will make the dildo wiggle around pleasantly, and overall it adds that little extra something that turns a good romp into a great one.

One final benefit I’ve discovered with the Accomodator is that, in a pinch, it can very easily double as a penis-shaped gag.  Extremely handy to keep the mouth of a sassy slave occupied when he’s not putting it to better use.

I’m introducing a new category today: Sex Toy Reviews.  Partly because I use a lot of sex toys, and I love to give my opinion on shit like that.  But also because I’m hoping that sex toy companies will send me free goodies to review!  *grin*

By the way, in case ya’ll haven’t noticed,  Wordpress (which this blog is published with) has this groovy “Categories” feature.  Click on any categoy and it’ll list all the posts that fall into that category.  So if you ever want to, say, see all my Practical Prophecies or Sex Toy Reviews grouped together all you need to do is click the link to your right.

 Now on to the reviews…