So Sgt. and I are checked in to a nearby hotel for three nights to take pics for Chateau Cherie.  Day one, Sgt has to drop me off at the hotel (where I have a live session scheduled), and immediately scurry back home to do dinner, bath, and bedtime with the kids.  When he arrives back after 11pm, he’s so tired (I’d already fallen asleep) that no photos get taken.

Day two, we’d planned to make an early start of it and do a couple of sets before the live session I have scheduled at lunchtime.  This gets interrupted by a call from Grandma…my son refuses to get dressed and misses the bus, which means we have to drive back home, get him together, and ferry him to school.  Fortunately for my sanity he consented to dress as soon as Grandma told him Mom & Dad were coming home, and walked into the school with perfect docility (unlike the day last week when I had to chase him down in the parking lot and drag him inside).  I’m on the verge of tears the whole trip, thinking about how much work I’ve put into my website, how very badly I want it to succeed, and how impossible that seems at the moment, when I can’t seem to find a few uninterrupted hours to take pictures.

We get back at the hotel around 10:30…my client is due at 11:30, so no pics this morning either.  And since we have to be back home again this afternoon by three, and won’t get away until after nine, likely no pics today at all.  Again.  That leaves tomorrow, and I can only pray that we won’t be interrupted again by a call from Grandma - or worse, the school.

I try really, really hard to make the best quality porn I can…I put my heart & soul and every spare penny (because believe me, six signups a month is not anywhere near paying for what it costs to run a paysite, even on a shoestring budget) into it…and I’m really miserable right now about the corners I’m having to cut just to keep going.  I feel like Michelangelo, being forced to work exclusively in play-doh, on a table covered with cat hair.  I honestly don’t know if I can continue this way.

The perfect antidote to all my bitching & moaning lately, the lovely leggy Trixie:

{click the pic to see a whole gallery of naughty Trixie pics!}

The thing I love best about Trixie is that, in addition to being a gorgeous broad with truly grab-able curves, she’s one smart cookie.  Her blog is on my personal must-read list and probably half of everything I’ve learned about porn marketing so far I’ve learned from her.

I’m gonna come right out and say it:  if it weren’t for the unfortunate incident when the jelly anal screw I was using (during a cam show no less!) engaged in a painful chemical reaction with the lining of my back passage, this would be my all time least favorite toy.  At least the anal screw was a freebie; this puppy I shelled out the (to me) big bucks for - over $30!

Anyhow, I wanted a g-spot vibrator and Sue Johanson’s Royal Wave vibe looked like a friendly fellow.  I was particularly drawn by the fact that it’s silicone and I have become (thanks to the aforementioned incident with the jelly anal screw) very concerned about what my toys are made of. 

 (I prefer 100% silicone, by the way…read why here and here.)

At the time I bought it nearly a year ago it was also a very affordable toy, since then more companies have started offering silicone toys and prices have come down a bit.  This one was a complete waste of money anyway though, for one simple reason…

See that little hooked bit, underneath the bulbous head?  Think of a fish caught on a line.  NOT the sort of sensation you want in your vagina.  Getting it in is a bitch, but getting it out is even worse.  *shudder*

I tried to like this one, really I did.  I forced myself to use it half a dozen times.  I even came with it a couple of times (by using it only on my clit, or by inserting & leaving, no thrusting at all) but it was just so much of a pain to use that mostly it has sat, untouched, on the shelf in my shower.  Sure, it’s hygenically superior 100% silicone, sure it’s waterproof, with a strong & quiet motor, but who cares about all that if the toy isn’t actually any fun to use?

I suppose if all you ever wanted was something to rub your clit with and you were really, really, in love with the pretty pinkness of it this toy might be ok, but I really can’t imagine recommending it to anybody.  Even if your vag were truly vast and in need of a jumbo sized toy (which the head of this is) I would think you’d be better off going with something larger overall and without that nasty hooked bit.

To be fair, I’ve seen some of Sue Johanson’s newer designs, and they look much more fulfilling than this one.  In fact, I’m rather coveting several of them; the bright colors and organic curves make them look really fun, which is how a toy ought to look in my opinion.  But thankfully, none of them have any icky hooky bits.

I spent the morning yesterday first taking my son to get blood drawn (his first time, and he was so brave!<--proud Mommy) then ferrying him to school.  Why should this take the whole morning, you may wonder?  Well, all kids are reluctant to go to school sometimes...but how many kids have to be carried in kicking and screaming?  Knowing he's an aspie helps some - at least I know where this kind of thing is coming from - but I'm still blindsided by the behavioral results.  What do you do when the kid (remember, he's six) is so set on not going to school that he’d run blindly toward the street, seemingly unconsious of any danger, rather than go inside?  And most especially (if you’re me), what do you do when a physical impairment (seriously bad knee, thanks to a car wreck a few years ago, in case you were wondering) very literally keeps you from being able to catch him?  What I did was a) spank him in the parking lot and b) have a meltdown of my own; but I waited until after I’d finally got him as settled in as he was gonna get at school and was alone in the car on my way home.

I am really, really grateful to be working in porn on days like this.  It is such a FUCKING HUGE relief to be able…no, more than able, to be required…to spend some time doing something that’s completley and utterly removed from children.

Which is not something I could articulate to my doctor when, later that afternoon, I went in for my annual physical and somewhat shyly requested that she order a complete STD screening for me.  I am not quite to the point of being ready to do partner shoots with men other than my husband but I can see that time approaching and I want to be prepared.  Not that I wouldn’t have sex with other men; I’m just not ready to take pictures of myself doing so and publish them on the internet. 

Working in porn is, in a very literal sense, good for me.  I am far more diligent about taking care of myself thanks to this career.  I wear sunscreen, eat better, exercise more, smoke less, take much, much, much better care of my skin…there’s so many things I do that I just wouldn’t bother with if I didn’t know I was going to be on camera next week, or doing a live panty mistress session tomorrow.  So when my doctor ever-so-gently suggested that there are better ways to make a living I was pretty amused.  Maybe there are ways of making a living that are better for other people, but for me this is the ideal job.  Which is why I continue doing it even though I’m not (yet) making a living at it.

And on the good side, I got my first package from Wetegg.com yesterday too, and have spent a little time getting acquainted with my new Venus vibrator.  I will need to do lots more testing before I’m ready to write my review, but I can tell you already that this one’s destined to be a favorite.

I am delighted to announce that I have entered into a collaboation with the fine people over at wetegg.com.  Not to put too fine a point on it, they are going to send me sexy toys which I will put to the Cherie-gasm test, and report the results here for your reading pleasure.  So stay tuned for more naughty toy reviews!

“We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God.” - Pope Benedict XVI, at his inagural Mass, April 2005

Questions - and challenges - for the believers who agree with the Pope:

If each of us is planned by God, what about the homosexual?  The evidence does seem to be piling up that queerness is biological.  Therefore, is it not blasphemy to degrade and dishonor the gay man and the lesbian as you have done?

Or perhaps a less controversial subject…what about the acres of forests we humans raze each day, the thousands of animals slaughtered, the winds and waters polluted…are these not also part of God’s plan?  Is not defiling and destroying those things like spitting in the face of God?

Or are you really so arrogant as to believe that YOU, with your petty concerns and selfish human heart, are created by God superior to all else, entitled to rule over - and trample - anything you please?

My son is six years old, smart as a whip, more stubborn than ten mules, and endearingly, wonderfully different from most children.

Last week we found out why.

After having even more trouble at the start of school this year (last year we thougt it was something he’d just grow out of; a side-effect of never having been in daycare or even babysat by anybody apart from close family)  we arranged for an in-depth evaluation for him, and the results are in.  He has Asperger’s syndrome, which is a mild form of autism.  Prior to August 22nd - the very day of my grandmother’s funeral in fact - we had never even heard of Asperger’s.  It seems like months have passed since then; my days have been so full of conferences at school and appointments with various doctors, counsellors, and specialists.

The people I’ve told so far are quick to point out (trying to comfort me I think, which I *do* appreciate) that Asperger’s is not necessarily crippling.  That in fact many very successful people (like Albert Einstein, for instance, although the condition had not been identified when he was a kid) were also “aspies”.  I know this is true, and I know my son is very smart and has every chance of growing into a contented, productive adult, but just at the moment it’s a little overwhelming for the mom & dad whose job it is to get him there.

Asperger’s, like classic autism, is a condition in which the brain is wired differently from the norm.  This difference in brain wiring makes it very easy for my boy to learn some things (like how to read and how to use a computer), and very difficult for him to learn others.  The biggest difficulty is that aspies don’t just “pick up” all the non-verbal clues which are so important in human communication, the kind of things that neurotypical people learn without ever having to be taught.  He will need special lessons to learn about things like making eye contact and taking turns in conversation or how to tell what someone is feeling by their facial expression or the tone of their voice.  And we will need to learn all this stuff consciously as well (this stuff is completely unconscious for most people), so we can figure out how to teach it to him.

Another difficulty is that aspies tend to fixate on things:  objects, people, places, and even whole areas of study.  This can be a good thing; it’s the trait that allows adult aspies to delve deeply into a subject and make great contributions to the body of human knowledge.  But when you’re six years old and don’t have the skills to communicate what’s going on, getting so upset that you run away because you weren’t allowed to put your lunch garbage in the “right” garbage bin can be very problematic.  We used to dismiss these fixations (after all, who gets THAT upset about using one garbage can rather than another in a row of identical cans?), which led to a lot of unhappiness and struggle for everybody.  Now at least we understand…but we also understand that he could go into an emotional meltdown anytime, anywhere, over things so minor to us that they are tough to identify.  We get to look forward to always being the parents of the screaming child throwing a fit in line at the grocery store, with clueless onlookers giving advice about discipline (often along the lines of “if that was my kid I’d smack him!”).  Advice that’s not only unasked-for, but also downright counterproductive.

I’ve stopped crying about this for now but I’m still reeling a little.  My job of Mommy - which I’d expected to get easier once the kids started school - has just got harder instead, and I have the expectation now that it will get harder still as my aspie boy grows up.  I can only pray that I will have the strength to get us both through the turbulent times.

It occurred to me that I ought not to neglect the sex books, since I’ve gone through an awful lot of them as well.  *grin*  What can I say?  I’ve been training for sex work all my life, even if I didn’t realize it until recently.  So coming soon (as soon as I’ve had a chance to review some of my favorites) I’ll be reporting on them!

Sgt. and I picked up one of these chin-strap dildos about seven years ago, and I think the fact that it’s still on the market (same name brand and everything) says something.  We were decidedly unimpressed at first, as it seemed awkward to use and extremely silly, but this toy definitely grows on you.

There are lots of variants on this general concept, mostly available in the BDSM sections of sex toy stores, but this is the only one I’ve seen which leaves the mouth of the wearer free for other uses.  The BDSM ones tend to be dual-purpose gag/dildo combos, which puts the dildo in the right place (that is, sticking out of the face you plan to sit on) but also blocks the lips & tongue of the sitee. 

The Accommodator is certainly ridiculous looking (not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the scene you’re enacting), and it’s a bit finicky to get it positioned so that it’s comfortable for the wearer and effective for the recipient.  Wearers with longer hair will want to be particularly careful as the straps *will* get caught in your hair.  On the plus side though, the natural latex material is easy to clean and sturdy, and with a minimum of care this toy might last a lifetime.

As for actually using it, it’s not designed for in-and-out thrusting (and boy, would that give the wearer a neckache if they tried!) but rather for those of us who simply like the sensation of being filled while enjoying a good clit-licking.  The movements of the wearer’s head as he or she performs cunnilingus will make the dildo wiggle around pleasantly, and overall it adds that little extra something that turns a good romp into a great one.

One final benefit I’ve discovered with the Accomodator is that, in a pinch, it can very easily double as a penis-shaped gag.  Extremely handy to keep the mouth of a sassy slave occupied when he’s not putting it to better use.

I’m introducing a new category today: Sex Toy Reviews.  Partly because I use a lot of sex toys, and I love to give my opinion on shit like that.  But also because I’m hoping that sex toy companies will send me free goodies to review!  *grin*

By the way, in case ya’ll haven’t noticed,  Wordpress (which this blog is published with) has this groovy “Categories” feature.  Click on any categoy and it’ll list all the posts that fall into that category.  So if you ever want to, say, see all my Practical Prophecies or Sex Toy Reviews grouped together all you need to do is click the link to your right.

 Now on to the reviews…